Adoption Support

We’re a community that understands you and your family. Spence-Chapin’s Modern Family Center provides birth parents, adoptive parents, and adoptees a supportive community and a connection to professionals who understand the unique aspects of adoption.

Services are provided through Spence-Chapin’s Modern Family Center.

Call or email our team to learn more: 646-539-2167 and info@modernfamilycenter.org!

Post-Adoption Support (www.spence-chapin.org/community-counseling) All of Spence-Chapin’s post-adopt support services are available to the entire adoption community! Our post adoption services include:

  • Parent Coaching helps parents build confidence in their parenting style. Common themes explored: navigating open adoption, understanding adoption & identity in your family, finding the right words for tough conversations, and navigating change. Read more
  • Community Events: meet other adoptive families at monthly playgroups (Bagels & Blox), cultural events, lifebook workshops, and community celebrations! Sign up on our events calendar
  • Our Mentorship Program for adopted middle and high school students empowers adoptees through friendship, building self-confidence and challenging them to discover and understand their adoption identities and experiences. Mentors and mentees enjoy meaningful community, educational, and social outings throughout the school year. Join us next semester by downloading the free application online. Click to read FAQs
  • Mental Health Services from adoption-competent therapists. Our experienced staff of adult and child therapists help individuals, couples, and families navigate challenges, life transitions, relationships, parenting, anxiety, or depression. We specialize in adoption, anxiety, depression, ADHD, family and relationship problems, and stress. Email today to schedule a free intake call with a social worker! Financial assistance may be available to persons connected to adoption.
  • ADHD & Emotional Regulation Treatment Spence-Chapin is committed to supporting and advocating for children with ADHD and their families. Our licensed professionals use evidence based assessment tools to help children develop the skills and self-esteem necessary to manage ADHD with little to no medication. To provide the best treatment model possible, the therapists at Spence-Chapin’s Modern Family Center have developed a video to help parents better understand the signs and symptoms of ADHD in children. Read more
  • Birthland trips for adopted persons and their families to visit their birth country. Spence-Chapin provides emotional support for individuals and families preparing for a birthland trip.
  • Personal Adoption History for adoptees, birth parents, and siblings. Spence-Chapin Services to Families and Children maintains thousands of adoption records from its 109-year history. Spence-Chapin, as an authorized agency, is also the custodian of the adoption records of Louise Wise Services and Talbot Perkins. Read more 
  • Community Education provides workshops for families, parent groups, and professionals including schools, religious organizations, PTAs, camps, and community groups. Topics include: Adoption in the Schools, Common Parenting FAQs, Understanding Open Adoption, and Finding the Right Words for Tough Conversations. Read more

 Pre-Adoption Support

Consultations are available for anyone before or during their adoption process. A pre-adoption consultation is an opportunity for you to speak one-on-one with one of our skilled social workers in our office, on the phone, or through video chat. Families come in to discuss a variety of topics, including preparing for an open adoption, adopting a child of a different race, emotional support during the wait for an adoption, helping spouses who aren’t on the same page about adoption decisions, and speaking with potential birth parents. Consultations are available at any point of an adoption journey. Professional service fee: $150/session

Follow Spence-Chapin on Facebook and YouTube for updates, stories, and more!

Mentorship Program FAQs

Who are the Mentees?
Mentees are adopted middle or high school students in the tri-state who are open to receiving support and guidance from adopted adults and are able to be in a group setting and participate in structured activities. Our families join us from NYC, New Jersey, and Connecticut!

Who are the Mentors?
Our mentors are volunteers who are adopted, live in the tri-state area, and are in their twenties, thirties, and forties. All of our mentors are screened and trained by our licensed social work staff. Mentors serve as role models who can share their adoption story and experiences while encouraging mentees to ask questions, feel comfortable with their identities, and develop healthy self-esteem.

Are mentors assigned to a child one-to-one? Do they meet individually?
Mentors and Mentees interact at scheduled events and go on community outings as a group. Whereas in some years we designate Mentors to individual Mentees, we have also interacted in group settings without a one-on-one assignment. The program structure varies and we will be developing the 2017-2018 program in the coming months.

How often does the Mentorship Program meet?
One Saturday a month, our Mentors and Mentees enjoy community, educational and social outings. We provide an inclusive and safe space to discuss birth families, identity, relationships, and more. There are two semesters for the Mentorship Program: Fall (September – January) and Spring (February – June). Families enrolled in the Mentorship Program will receive a schedule of events in advance of the semester. The time frame of events varies depending on the activity, but generally ranges from 2-4 hours, usually beginning around noon.

What types of programs/activities do participants of the Mentorship Program engage in?
Past outings have included going to the zoo, bowling, and a pasta making class. Some events take place at Spence-Chapin’s Modern Family Center office in Manhattan while others take place off-site throughout New York City. Two of each semester’s monthly meetings will be Adoption Days, where the agenda will be adoption-focused and encourage relevant discussion and reflection. Adoption Days also include programming for parents related to parenting adopted teens.

Hear from our current mentors to learn more:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KleTAaeSYR4&feature=youtu.be

Learn more about the Mentorship Program.

Questions?
Email Katie Rogala, LSW at krogala@spence-chapin.org to learn more!

We Celebrate Clara Spence

“Throughout our Nation’s history, American women have led movements for social and economic justice, made groundbreaking scientific discoveries, enriched our culture with stunning works of art and literature, and charted bold directions in our foreign policy.”

In 2009, Martha Ulman, Clara Spence’s grand-daughter, wrote an article for the New York State Historical Association chronicling the history of her grandmother’s achievements as a pioneer in adoption in New York. We can think of no better way to acknowledge the women who shaped social justice than to honor our own founder and adoption advocate Clara Spence. This is an excerpt from Martha Ulman’s article:

Clara_Spence resizedClara Spence achieved her work during the pivotal decades 1900-1920, when there were many people with socially progressive ideas. Some approached the problem of the discrepancy between the rich and the poor from the bottom up. They personally went into the slums and worked with the problem firsthand. Clara Spence chose to approach the problem from the top by preaching to the children of the richest New Yorkers the moral and ethical virtue of service so that they, in their adult life, would make a difference in improving the conditions of those less fortunate. Although many of her students went own to serve in their communities, the area for which they are best known is that of adoption and the creation of their nursery, which merged with that of Henry and Alice Chapin in 1943. Known today as Spence-Chapin Services to Families and Children, the organization continues to serve the needs of children of all creeds, colors, and nationalities.

Born in Albany, New York, in 1859, Clara Spence was a member of the middle class. She graduated from Boston University’s School of Oratory in 1879, after which she attended London University where she honed her acting skills. She came to New York City originally aspiring to be an actress but, upon the death of her mother in 1883, she shifted her talents to teaching at private schools for girls. In 1892, she founded her own school in a brownstone at 6 West Forty-Eighth Street. It was in this school that Clara Spence began a nursery for abandoned babies.

The treatment of orphans before the 1890’s followed a dreary route from institutional care to indentured service or, in the case of thousands of children in Charles Loring Brace’s orphan trains, relocation to families hundreds of miles from their homes. There, as Marilyn Holt notes in her book, “The Orphan Trains: Placing Out in America”, they were often valued for their labor potential rather than accepted as members of the family. Clara Spence offered adoption as an alternative to institutionalization or relocation. Adoption, which we now take for granted, was an anomaly at a time when to adopt a non-relative was consider a brave and bizarre act, because of genetic uncertainty and social stigma. Clara Spence dedicated herself to the cause of abandoned infants and introduced her students to adoption as a new and fulfilling form of social work.

In January 1909, the White House Conference on Dependent Children adopted fourteen resolutions all aimed at replacing the institutional method of child care with home care. The next month Clara Spence personally adopted a one-year-old girl from the Children’s Aid Society. The judge had no objection to her application even though she was a single parent nearing the age of fifty. Six years later in 1915, Clara Spence adopted a little boy. Her partner, Charlotte Baker, adopted a girl in 1911 and a boy in 1914, completing what was one of the first single-sex adoption families.
Clara Spence - Central Park, February 1911

It was Ms. Spence’s personal involvement that inspired her students, who witnessed the transformation of babies who came from institutions and were “built up” for adoption on the top floor of her school. As a result, in 1915, the alumnae of the school opened the Spence Alumnae Society nursery through which several hundred babies were placed in adoptive homes. In 1921, Clara Spence brought thirteen children from Great Britain to the United States to be adopted into American families, anticipating what has today become a vast network of international adoption. By her willingness to defy public opinion and risk social ostracism, Clara Spence not only managed to make adoption an accepted practice, but one that became the method of choice for hundreds of families. It was largely because of her work and influence that New York became recognized as a leader in child welfare and adoption in particular.

Spence-Chapin has spent over 100 years finding innovative ways to fulfill Clara Spence’s legacy. Our expertise has consistently expanded the benefits of adoption to more children and the prospective parents who want to love them.

Just as Clara Spence responded to the need in her time, our work is focused on serving women and families who need help planning and building strong, loving families. We are driven by the simple and fundamental belief: every child deserves a family. Through our Modern Family Center, we provide counseling and community services that help these new families succeed. We can create more permanent, loving families just as we’ve always done.

5 Parenting Tips: How to Improve the Behavior of Children with ADHD

Mother helping son with homework

Parenting a child with ADHD requires a special type of patience and understanding. When every task is a battle, days can feel exhausting before you’re even out the door.

Follow these 5 tips to help improve the behavior of your child with ADHD.

  1. Stay Cool – Often children with ADHD scream and yell during their meltdowns. When disciplining your child, keep the volume down and keep calm.
  2. Keep it Positive – Don’t just punish bad behavior, remember to reward good behavior too! Taking the positive approach is more effective than delivering ultimatums. Praise your child 4 more times than you criticize them. Children with ADHD report having lower self-esteem than their peers. When you lead by example, your child will develop the skills necessary to manage their ADHD, will believe in themselves, and will succeed in all aspects of their life.
  3. Give Your Child Concrete Tasks – Children with ADHD are often forgetful. When you provide them with clear, succinct, and specific tasks, they are more successful than if you give them 5 things to complete at once. Get down on their level and look them in the eyes when you speak to them.
  4. Make Sure the Punishment Fits the Crime – Ask yourself, “is this punishment necessary or am I displacing my anger?” If your child has already been disciplined in school do they need an additional one at home?
  5. Discipline Early – The longer you wait to apply these parenting strategies, the more your child will have to unlearn.
  6. BONUS TIP: Don’t be afraid to ask for help! Experienced experts can provide parents with behavioral management tools and offer educators child-specific classroom interventions – Call 646-539-2167 today for your FREE consultation.

Spence-Chapin’s Modern Family Center provides a holistic and personalized ADHD treatment plan for your child by partnering with parents, educators, school psychologists, and school counselors. We can help transform your child’s behavior and strengthen your entire family. Call 646-539-2167!

Meet Elizabeth!

Here at the Modern Family Center, our mission is to provide a community that connects with and understands you and your family. And what better way to do so than to introduce you to who we are?

This month we talked to Dr. Elizabeth Studwell, Psy.D., Manager of Mental Health Services, about her work.

ElizabethStudwellWhy did you want to work at the Modern Family Center?

I specifically wanted to work at the Modern Family Center because I believe very strongly in the freedom and acceptance to have and be a part of a “Modern Family.” I want to provide support to individuals and families that find themselves feeling different than the norm. I feel very passionately about adoption and feel that it often takes extra strength to be a part of a unique family structure, whatever that might be. All children deserve a family and all families deserve to be happy and healthy.

 

What is the most challenging part of your job?

The most challenging part of my job is the consultation work that I do for foster care agencies. I help to support children whose parents have not been able to fully care for their needs.

Describe your job in 3 words.
Dynamic, rewarding, humbling

Describe your experience in mental health counseling.

I completed my doctorate in clinical psychology from The Chicago School of Professional Psychology and have been engaged in providing mental health services in a variety of settings for almost ten years. I have volunteered and worked at a residential institution in Colombia preparing children for adoption. I have provided coaching, counseling, and consulting as well as psychological assessment in variety of settings including inpatient psychiatric hospitals, outpatient clinics, behavioral day schools, and foster care agencies. I am clinically trained primarily in attachment based psychotherapy, relational therapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy and trauma focused psychotherapy.

Honoring and Celebrating Family Connections

snowflakeHolidays are a time for connecting with loved ones and provide the opportunity for time travel – we visit our past, experience the present, and set intentions for the future.

It’s easy to think about the family members we see and touch base with regularly. But what about those who were part of your child’s life before they were part of your family? It could be birth or foster families, orphanage caregivers, or early childhood friends. Even if your child was too young to remember these relationships, they are an important part of your child’s history and who they are today. Finding ways to bring their birth family, birth culture, and past into the present is important for deepening your relationship with your child.

Be imaginative about honoring those connections. The rituals and traditions you create with your child can be tangible and concrete, like putting together a Lifebook that has pictures of those important people, sending letters and cards, or setting up a visit. If you don’t have direct contact, the rituals can be symbolic. Go for a walk in the park where you first decided to adopt; eat the favorite food of that important person every Thanksgiving; collect stones from important places in your child’s life. The smallest detail can have a huge impact on your child now and in the future. Remember, be creative and make it a special tradition that is unique to your family. Your child might not like or understand the meaning of the rituals now, but it is important that you’re doing all that you can do to document and celebrate your child’s past so they can cherish it in the future. When you honor those who are connected to your child, you are honoring your children, their story, and your family’s roots.